There have been times in my life when I could not give thanks and did not feel like singing or praising God. At such times, the sight and sound of seemingly healthy families and happy worshipers was like salt in an open wound. Realistically, I always knew that there were others in church who were also in pain. But when you’re down, you don’t necessarily want to be with people who seem to be up!
My down times can be sorted into two major categories: experiences of loss and seasons of conflict.
I have had my share of losses in life. Early on in our marriage, Marja and I discovered that we could not have children biologically. The dreams we had for our six children took a big hit when the older sibling group we adopted got into constant trouble, ran from home and eventually returned to their birth family. After a car struck my friend and me while we were on a training run, I lost the ability not just to run, but walk. We have buried Marja’s parents, a brother-in-law, and lots of people whom we loved as brothers and sisters in the Lord. The recent recession took a bite out of our savings, too.
Thirty-five years of ministry have also involved losses. I am referring specifically to losing church members and regular attenders who belonged to the church families that we've served, only to leave because they were bored, unhappy or distracted by other interests. I know that no minister and no ministry can be all things to all people. The Parable of the Sower reminds me that even Jesus expected to lose many of his followers. But it still hurts when people we care about disappear from church.
I have also had my share of conflict in life. Hard to believe, eh! But it’s true. When you stand for something, you will often find yourself opposing someone. Every parent experiences this when they care enough about their kids to say No to bad ideas. Every person experiences this when they honour their faith and their values enough to express their Christian opinion.
Thirty-five years of ministry has also involved some conflict. Although I see myself as a peacemaker, there have been times that I have confronted parishioners on their lifestyle choices. Sometimes I have found myself to be in disagreement with a ministerial colleague. If anything has kept me up at nights, it’s wrestling with interpersonal conflicts, especially while they remained unresolved.
Losses. Conflicts. You have your stories and memories; I certainly have mine. They are joy robbers and praise stealers. And they make you feel like staying away from the very place and the very people that you need when you’re feeling down.
By the grace of God, I have been able to keep going to church and to stay in the ministry. I have not always wanted to bring an offering of thanks into the house of the Lord, but somehow I have always known that I needed to do just that, not only privately, but also communally. And here’s what I can say with certainty: whenever I resisted the pull to stay away, God and his people pulled me back in. Again and again.
Our worship services have to be sensitive to those who are grieving or warring. May God forgive us for those times when our exuberant praise runs roughshod over people’s problems. But let’s help each other cling to the idea that praising the Lord even when the circumstances don’t warrant it is a more hopeful, healing choice than letting the losses and conflicts win.
- Pastor Peter
My down times can be sorted into two major categories: experiences of loss and seasons of conflict.
I have had my share of losses in life. Early on in our marriage, Marja and I discovered that we could not have children biologically. The dreams we had for our six children took a big hit when the older sibling group we adopted got into constant trouble, ran from home and eventually returned to their birth family. After a car struck my friend and me while we were on a training run, I lost the ability not just to run, but walk. We have buried Marja’s parents, a brother-in-law, and lots of people whom we loved as brothers and sisters in the Lord. The recent recession took a bite out of our savings, too.
Thirty-five years of ministry have also involved losses. I am referring specifically to losing church members and regular attenders who belonged to the church families that we've served, only to leave because they were bored, unhappy or distracted by other interests. I know that no minister and no ministry can be all things to all people. The Parable of the Sower reminds me that even Jesus expected to lose many of his followers. But it still hurts when people we care about disappear from church.
I have also had my share of conflict in life. Hard to believe, eh! But it’s true. When you stand for something, you will often find yourself opposing someone. Every parent experiences this when they care enough about their kids to say No to bad ideas. Every person experiences this when they honour their faith and their values enough to express their Christian opinion.
Thirty-five years of ministry has also involved some conflict. Although I see myself as a peacemaker, there have been times that I have confronted parishioners on their lifestyle choices. Sometimes I have found myself to be in disagreement with a ministerial colleague. If anything has kept me up at nights, it’s wrestling with interpersonal conflicts, especially while they remained unresolved.
Losses. Conflicts. You have your stories and memories; I certainly have mine. They are joy robbers and praise stealers. And they make you feel like staying away from the very place and the very people that you need when you’re feeling down.
By the grace of God, I have been able to keep going to church and to stay in the ministry. I have not always wanted to bring an offering of thanks into the house of the Lord, but somehow I have always known that I needed to do just that, not only privately, but also communally. And here’s what I can say with certainty: whenever I resisted the pull to stay away, God and his people pulled me back in. Again and again.
Our worship services have to be sensitive to those who are grieving or warring. May God forgive us for those times when our exuberant praise runs roughshod over people’s problems. But let’s help each other cling to the idea that praising the Lord even when the circumstances don’t warrant it is a more hopeful, healing choice than letting the losses and conflicts win.
- Pastor Peter
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